Tired

I don't really know what to say today. Other than I'm really disappointed and confused.
I'm not sure how else to say it. But I'm tired of not feeling safe anymore.

Dreaming

So I had a really weird dream last night.

I had a dream that I was pregnant and that I was about to have my baby. And I guess Oivia was pregnant too, but she had her baby three days before. My ex-boyfriends (all 3) were standing in the room… and I kept wondering whose baby it was.

I was really scared it was going to hurt. Everyone was standing around me. There was a light on the doctor. And I kept pushing.

Finally the doctor pulled out from inside me this sack thing. It looked the a deflated balloon.

“Here it is” the doctor said. I was confused. It was so small. And then he cut it open and there was my baby.

It was tiny.

And gangly.

I was overwhelmed with happiness. But it was so small. And I wasn’t sure if I should keep it.

Afterwards, I kept leaving it places and forgetting about it. And it was sad. And Olivia and I were going through the same thing.

At the end, we decided to take our little gangly, alien-looking babies to an adoption agency.

We handed over our babies and left down a dusty road.

May 3

My first blog. Ever. Well, that's not true. I went through a xanga phase in my life around 8th grade.

Rockerchic218 was my username. I had a blue, sparkly background and thought my electric guitar was the coolest thing in the world, so I posted pictures of it.

I'm going to try to write my entries in the least annoying/boring way possible, while still being able to write honestly about what and how I'm doing these days.

This entry already sucks.
HA.
Oh well.

For starters, I'm a freshman film major at Huntington University. I have always been drawn to the visual aspects of film- cinematography, animation, photography, etc. Film is a hugely creative force in our world today. I love psychology and was torn between that and film production for my majors, and so I see film as a perfect link to my passion for art and my love for people. Film incorporates more than just imagery, stories, and people- but also MUSIC. I am constantly overwhelmed and amazed at the emotional force in certain songs and always find myself imagining its visual equivalent.
Where I'll end up in the future, I have no idea.
But I'm really excited.